That moment in a long-term relationship, when you look at your partner and realize you have just been telling them that one story about your aunt’s crazy dog for the seventeenth time.
We’ve all been there. Don’t lie.
Their eyes are glazed over, but they listen to you patiently. You see it and you acknowledge it, but you press on, knowing they are going to follow up with the story about that one time when they saw a bear while jogging. It doesn’t matter that you can quote it, verbatim, right down to the hand motions that accompany it…it’s part of the cycle. Predictable and comfortable.
This is the “Long Term Relationship Conversation Loop.” A phenomenon that occurs when we forget how to talk to each other and just reuse the same conversations, same stories over and over again. Maybe it’s because you’ve been busy putting the big questions into action. Maybe you are raising kids, or buying a house, or just trying to make life work. That part doesn’t matter. The point is, you are stuck in a rut and you feel helpless to change it. A key part of any relationship is connection and one of the best ways you can build connection and maintain connection is through conversation. Talk to each other. Flirt with each other. Express interest in the life you are building together.
I invite you to break free from the Conversation Recycling Loop and try out a few of these conversation starters! Some are sweet, some are serious, some are straight up silly and bizarre—all will (likely) lead you to a fascinating and original conversation with your sweetie.
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